Anarchy in the UK

Something smelly is brewing in the UK - we're hearing of a first-time competitor's complaints about vague rules, incompetent protocol drafting and unclear interpretations thereby justifying whatever a team may wish to do in the next America's Cup . . . even some behind-the-scenes talk during Challenger's Meetings about being held to the same standards as the colonists and post-colonists! Can you imagine that?

And wasn't putting on a nice Jubilee regatta and partying all night for a week (at probably the most unsuitable locale for racing and without accommodations for 1/10th the attendees) dispensation enough to gain a pass on some incompetently drafted third world protocol rules? They certainly were not really intended for the upper crust, now were they? And besides, the UK being the first (losing) competitor in the America's Cup, shouldn't they be allowed automatic entry to the AC quarter-finals even if their performance is a bit off the mark as it was in the Cowes-Disneyland Regatta and which it will likely be some 14 months from now? Amazingly, the other challengers thought not.

What's up with the pasty-faces? Well, this is what we hear: in the haste to fulfill commitments to those willing to pitch-in financially to the GBR America's Cup campaign, the Poms tried to do a deal ala Prada whereby a terminated syndicate's entire asset package was acquired thereby allowing a turn-key jump-start that would otherwise be very difficult to accomplish during the shortened ramp-up for the next event. It was negotiated and agreed that the Nippon syndicate's boats, masts, sails, support hardware, designers and design materials would be acquired in total. However, it appears that no one involved with the acquisition heeded the attention given by other syndicates to ensure that what they acquired was "legal" and did not include design related materials be it data or devices such as tank test models. Likewise apparent is the GBR's ignorance of the new Protocol's prohibition of the acquisition or use of design materials from another syndicate whether or not they remained a competitor (also a potential short-coming of two U.S. west coast syndicates so misery might very well have company.)

So, when the Nippon syndicate's assets were delivered to the UK, it was an unsegregated "lock-stock and barrel" purchase package, which, included tank models, baseline tank test results, VPP-CFD-FEA analysis (with those able to interpret such gibberish and in Japanese no less!) Making matters worse were the Japanese nationals hired by GBR who had spent the last five years (or more) trying to turn a Toyota into a Ferrari; their marching instructions were to pick up where they had left off without regard to whether the materials they were "picking-up" just so happened to be prohibited by the rules. Those wacky furriners!

It appears the Poms have little confidence in the skills of a home-grown industry who are still best known for building the one-trick-pony made famous by a Hollywood movie. At the same time and providing a bit of additional entertainment potential for the future, the GBR syndicate is apparently scared out of its wits at being sent packing after expending pounds of pounds based on contributions from dot-com clowns (they are Trans-national, this breed), who were stupid enough to "invest" in the Cup - (I have two tall buildings at the foot of Manhattan that I can sell to you for cheap . . . ) Nonetheless these old-new-comers to the Cup remain their intrepid and ballsey selves in the face of adversity. Either that or they are just plain stupid.

This time it will probably be the other former Axis adversary, the Challenger of Record from Italy, whose now multi-national engines of war may wreak havoc on the half-ass challenge from the nation which epitomizes the phrase "husk of its former self," and whose present racial complexion more resembles the Islamabad city counsel than the boys on the Black Boat. While tradition is a fine thing, as is a celebration and party well-executed, there really is no excuse for cheating now is there good fellows?!

Let me suggest to the limeys - the remoras of the post-colonial world: stick to what they say you do best . . . now if I could just remember what that was . . .