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Is it just me, or are you too already bored to tears with the Team Dennis Conner Stars $ Stripes America's Cup program? I mean, talk about "been there, tired of that". This stagnant effort promises to have us nodding off in our beer during this Cup go around. Or does it? It's bad enough that he once again has turned his back on SDYC, the club that fostered and supported his rise to the top, (Hey DC, what happened to the Cortez Racing Association? That particular sham has apparently been tossed by the wayside, yet the idiots in charge at Cortez still have the S$S logo on their website. Apparently they didn't get the memo that they have been dumped), but his alignment with the stuffiest bunch of pricks on the planet, NYYC, ("Conner Announces Pact with Satan") is sure to guarantee yawns a-plenty. We'll once again be treated to the same uninspiring after guard of Tom Whidden, (What is he, 80?) and Peter Isler (zzzzzzz). We'll again see Bill Trenkle trimming, looking up at the headsails and pretending that he is something other than a journeyman at best. We'll hear the panicky, panties-bunched-very-tightly barking from Ken Read that inspires his crew to be just as tightly wound. We'll see the same 1976-era lame patriotic S$S crew clothes. Even the paint scheme and colors on the boat are the same. Jesus, how about something creative? It's not 1992 anymore. The Glory Days are over, boys - time to move along. John Reichel will draw a good boat, but of course Conner will squeeze them so tight, pleading the "We Have No Money" mantra, that, just like last time, R/P will work on a shoestring budget. Amazingly, there will apparently be two boats. I'm still amazed by that, and won't believe it 'till I see it. I wonder which poor benefactors got talked into funding that? You of course can't expect that money to come out of the TDC coffers. Why should Good Ol' DC spend money on a second boat, when he can simply plead The Mantra, while slipping a good chunk of that dough in his already fat wallet? Hey, gotta pay for the R/P 50, TWO Formula One 52's, couple of tenders, Etchells, house in Point Loma, and god knows what else. Plus he must keep Daintry in the style she is accustomed to, mustn't he? And, for the family he left behind for the above-mentioned Daintry, there must be a pretty substantial alimony payment, eh? So, christ, just like last time, why fuck away all that money on a second boat? Get somebody else to pay for it! There's condo's in New Zealand to buy, for god's sake. And that bar bill, who's paying for that, Dicky Scruggs? There is hope, however that the DC Dog and Pony show will become just that. Again, just like last time, when Good Ol' DC was caught red-fucking-handed cheating with the illegal rudder, (and would have been nailed to the cross had they not been rightfully eliminated, with more cheating from the illegal Young America mainsail incident), we can expect more of the same. This guy has hardly ever seen a situation that he won't cheat, er, take advantage of. From Williwaw cheating in the SORC back in the '70's, to the crew-removal incident with his catamaran on an Ensenada race, to motoring in the Whitbread, to rule-breaking in PHRF in San Diego (AC boat - too many pros onboard violations; CF 27 - pros and boat modification violations; Soverel 33 - modification, etc.) to the last AC, his is a rich history of rule breaking. It's no wonder so many think he's a great American. He's the fucking Enron of sailing. So let's hope that, on his way to yet another elimination, he spices things up. I believe that we can look forward to the following: DC's Five Rules of America's Cup Protocol
Good times. |
