Frumby - A View of the Melges World's From Behind

Nothing like a good sour-grapes bitch session. Like when you get your ass kicked in the Melges 24 World's and then top it off by having some rich 14 year-old win the damn thing. SA reader Snapper gives us this rear-end post regatta analysis. Good times.

Snapper's buried here somewhere.

The Melges World's have come and gone. An historic event to be sure, with a 14 year- old taking the big pickle dish. However, despite sailing the boat by remote control, how many know that in the first start of the final race, young Sharky panicked and hit another boat while being tailed by Melges? Lucky for him the start was recalled and they didn't have to do a circle. The two leaders didn't mix it up in the next start and the rest is history. There's no question that Sharky and crew sailed a great regatta but it brings into question what it takes to put together a successful World's campaign.
After getting our ass handed to us in the event, the two crew who were still speaking to me and I came up with what would be the winning formula in the present day Melges 24 class.

1. You need to have large wads of cash, be a billionaire, or find some rich sot who will fund your campaign with unlimited funds.

There's no question that unless you can fulfill #1 you will spend all of your retirement money in the quest to grapple the big glass thingy. If you can, here's what you need:

a) 3 new boats - two for the US, one for Europe.
b) 2 Protectors/Raiders - US/Europe
c) 2 Vans + assorted other support vehicles like the mandatory Porsche Boxster to scoop up the fluff (you need to be divorced at this point).
d) Go out and hire the best of the best to nurse your sorry ass around the course.
e) Set up a grueling training program, targeting all the big regattas.
f) Stop working (if you already were). Actually working for a living will detract from the campaign - clearly unacceptable.

2. Set up your Team image/marketing

Fly Boys. Photo Lat 38

A great example of this was the Joe Fly team. They have it all. A full on pro effort with the likes of new Santa Cruz home owner Morgan Larson calling the shots and laughing all the way to the bank. I'm jealous of course. These guys do it right. A quick look at their web site www.joefly.it shows the slick team marketing that is indeed fly. I'm going to make sure that I order up a Joe Fly doll for my next plushie convention.

At the World's, the Joe Fly'ers had the mandatory Protector, adorned with the Italian flag, Joe Fly graphics, lots of Joe Fly clothing (available for purchase from the web site), photographer, coach, and sultry, hot Italian women sprawled over the tubes.
Other teams had some flashy packaging but the Joe Fly Sailing Team is clearly in a class of their own.

3. Don't socialize. Create an elitist attitude and stick with it.

For some this would come naturally. But the rest of us probably have to work hard on this. Several of the top teams (who have fulfilled #1) have perfected it. They're easy to spot. In the days prior to the regatta they can be found strutting around in their Farr 40 wear, talking loudly on the cell phone, and displaying what is known as "Pone Ass" in their gate. These are the guys who after getting towed in, jump off the boat and eat all the potstickers (you know who you are). You need to make sure that the proles who have to sail back to the dock know their place and remain hungry. This is an important strategy and helps solidify the division of the social classes.

So, it's as simple as 1,2,3. I never thought I'd say it, but I think I miss the J/24. Despite having many of the qualities found above (I was once protested for smiling too much), you can still do well with an older boat and the fleet parties like animals (for the most part). I'm sticking with the Melges for now and have started buying those Lottery tickets!

Snapper