I didn't either, but if you don't believe me, here's the link that proves it. In honor of the softer, smoother sex, I'd like to talk about them. Round or square, tiny or grand, old or young, I love them all. Sure, many will make our lives difficult at times, but the things that make them different and difficult are the same things that make them so delicious. People like to pretend that we're all the same and that we all have the same abilities and opportunities, but those clichés are bullshit, and we all know it. Girls ARE different, and every guy out there should be embracing those differences and thanking whoever they pray to that they exist.

Like everyone reading this, I love to sail. There is nothing that makes me feel better than being out on a boat, and wherever I've lived, the sailing and racing community has quickly become my family. While it's a fun, exciting, supportive family, it is highly dysfunctional and for a simple and obvious reason: It's almost all guys. This is the same everywhere I've been with only slight variations in the numbers. Up on Lake St. Claire, there are probably 20 or 30 male sailors for every woman; a ratio that isn't even appealing to the single girls. It's just too imbalanced. When I was single and misogynist this was definitely annoying. Now that I'm no longer sniffing for ass like a bloodhound, I notice the cockeyed ratio less, but as I've grown in my understanding of the sport I've learned that women are essential to the long-term health of sailing. I brought Meredith on a Tuesday night beercan race for our first date. She had never sailed before. 20 Months later, she has crewed both Key West and the Worlds with me on the Melges and I've asked this amazing creature to marry me. This is just one of the many great things that can happen when we recruit more women sailors.

The dynamic that women bring to a boat is a wonderful thing, and my own extensive experience has shown me that a female sailor's relative disadvantage in strength is almost always outweighed by a number of factors that often make them better sailors than men. Girls generally lack the need to prove themselves that guys have. They usually don't let their egos get in the way of learning, and this allows them to pay more attention to the course, the competition and the conditions. Women are unlikely to lie about their experience level and generally have a lighter touch on a spinnaker sheet or a tiller. Many of them bring a touch of civility to a boat, but when comfortable most will be able to make a dirty old salt blush more often than he can embarrass them. They are more accurate when asked what weight they can get to for OD events, and since they're smaller you can fit more of them on your boat. And then, of course, there's the whole bikini/thong thing.

There's a bigger reason I lament the lack of sailorgirls: In the US, sailboat racing is a dying sport, struggling to attract new blood. There are so many activities that compete for young people's attention and in the States, sailing is perceived as elitist, sexist, boring and expensive. While we all know that it doesn't have to be expensive, that it's rarely boring, and that much of the elitism has been excised like a blue-blazer tumor, the perception of sexism is hard to debunk when there aren't any girls out there. And I can't think of a faster way to grow the sport than to succeed at increasing the number of women on the water. I know that there are plenty of welcoming and supportive owners and sailors here and everywhere, but that clearly is not enough. We need to understand the real reasons that are keeping women from coming to the sport and staying with it once they've been introduced to it.

So when the Detroit Regional Yacht Racing Association (DRYA) sponsored a seminar featuring three top women sailors from the area last week, I was psyched to go. Unfortunately I was stuck in City Hall, listening to a guy try to convince the Council that toxic waste he dumped in his backyard was permitted as a "nursery". Bellasailbabe is a Detroit native who learned to sail in Southern Connecticut and recently moved back to southeast Michigan after a few years working, living, and racing on the Left Coast. She knew the subject interested me and sent me a little post-seminar report. I called her right away and asked her to write a more thorough account of the night that we could send to the Ed and share with the Anarchy family. With a little cajoling, she conceded. Tune in tomorrow!.

-Mr. Clean
March 5th, 2006