A sailing yacht owned by a mysterious person known only as "The Ed" was taken into custody today by a task force of the United States Navy. The task force consisted of four warships and four F-16 fighter jets.

The Yacht, known only as "SA" was able to outrun the taskforce for several hundred miles, sink two US Navy warships and get a PHRF rating change during the melee. A surviving Navy man, who wished to remain anonymous, was quoted as saying, "The subject vessel looks like a derelict, but it has a fair and fast bottom, a cloud of sail area (with sails suspected to be made of Kevlar and Carbon), massive guns and a crew whose insults would bring tears to the eyes of the most vicious radical Islamists. We were so insulted that we called Dr. Laura and she hung up on us when "SA" was mentioned!"

There was no sign of the owner. The vessel contained several prisoners in chains below decks including a renown naval architect known as Beetle Bailey and two members of the well known Southern California Leweck family, both found clad in only leather corsets, genital restraints and ball gags.

The vessel was pursued due to a variety of charges including hijacking a J-24 regatta, general lewdness and anti-Bush media activities. There was also suspected drug trafficking, yet all drugs appeared to either have been moved or possibly consumed. The vessel is being held in a secured harbor and the crew was thought to be shot trying to escape. Their fate is not known at this time. The owner was last seen planing away on a sailboat, described only as a Mac 26x. More to follow.

Thanks to Anarchists Oxygen Mask and Sinner!

05/23/06